rejection?

I'm trying not to be negative right now, but it is really hard. I've heard about the "rejection" phase that all native English speakers who teach English go through, where they begin to hate everything Korean and scheme of ways that they can go back to their home country. This phase typically begins in the 3rd month of the stay in Korea. It is almost that time for me, and I totally DO NOT hate everything Korean, but I'm trying to fight back feelings of depression right now. I feel inadequate, I feel like "why am I doing this?, the children don't understand me, they speak to each other in Korean and giggle at me and it makes me very uncomfortable". These feelings are being intensified today because my CO-TEACHER DID IT TO ME AGAIN. He left me alone in the classroom as I'm trying to explain to the students that I want them to use their imaginations and write dreams. There were 10 groups of 2, and 3 of the groups got it, and wrote really funny ones, but the other groups just sat there and their papers were blank and there's really nothing I can do because even when I go directly up to them and try to talk to them they give me a blank stare and draw pictures of how they want to go home, and expect me to give them candy. These are some highlights from this week:

"In the dream I am a horse in Africa. I have a wing but I have many muscles. So I run faster than I fly. Suddenly, I fight a lion so I win, but I am hit by a chicken. So I become a servant of the chicken. Finally I become KFC owner."

"I was water in the cup. Suddenly, a horse drank me. Then, to my surprise, it goes to bridge and pee pee. Unfortunately, I was purified. So I became water as before."

"In the dream I was cutting off the horse's neck, and spanking the farmer. Suddenly, the horse revived, and knocked out my teeth, so I used an ax to cut off the horse's penis. Then, to my surprise, the horse called his friend, The Zebra. The Zebra is very strong, very tall, and healthy. I was very scared. So I ran away quickly. Unfortunately, The Zebra caught up with me. By the way, The Zebra made ten tons of shit. It smells terrible. The Zebra sucked it. Finally, The Zebra had tongue cancer. And, I chopped the horse's hip. So, the horse and The Zebra died forever."

"In the dream I am God. Suddenly, the humans unite and challenge my power. Then I hit them. Unfortunately, they bring my power. Damn it. I think of how to kill the humans... finally I die."

"In the dream I was sitting under the tree. I was killing many spiders. Suddenly, the spiders changed into flowers. Then, to my surprise, I saw flowers in the sky. Unfortunately, the flowers changed into fire and I died. The fire changed back into flowers. Finally, I woke up in the afternoon. I think life is very important. "

"In the dream I am on the magic carpet in the White House. Suddenly I am flying with a really really pretty girl. Then, to my surprise, she loves me. But I don’t like the girl. I ignore her. I arrive at Sindong Middle School and meet my friend, the English Teacher. The English Teacher really likes me. But I only like him a little. Unfortunately, when he knows this fact, he is upset and he hits my head. Finally, I’m awake. It was just a dream. But I have a horn on my head."

"In the dream I met my grandma. Suddenly, my grandma disappeared. Then, to my surprise, my body disappeared. Unfortunately, I died. Finally, my family and I revive. I’m so very happy!"

"In the dream I was shooting Teacher Paul. Suddenly, he dies. Then, to my surprise, I am shot by his bodyguards. Unfortunately, I die. "

"In the dream I made a dress. Suddenly, the dress disappeared. Then to my surprise, I saw a lot of dresses. Unfortunately, the dresses were torn. Finally, I’m so happy because the dresses are baby dresses."

"In the dream I was flying with an umbrella. I arrived at a castle. The castle was full of SPIDERS!! So I made a hot spider tea and drank it. Suddenly, a thread came out of my wrist. Then, to my surprise, I was not a spider, but a cocoon. I was eating leaves on the tree. Unfortunately, I was eaten by an eagle. Finally, I woke up with the TV on. The program was a natural documentary about cocoons."

"In the dream I'm studying at the school. Suddenly, the light turned off, I was surprised. Then the light turned on and I was at the basketball court."

"In the dream I was cutting my head off in a park. Because I had given up my life. Suddenly, I was reborn in my house. Then, to my surprise, I was cutting my head off again. Unfortunately, I was reborn again. Finally, I cut off my arms, legs, and neck."

"I was eating a bird yesterday. In the dream I was eating it again. Suddenly, a bird was born between Mose and Taechi. Then, to my surprise, Mose had AIDS. Unfortunately Taechi was transgender! Finally, everyone is dead from AIDS."

"In the dream I was riding a horse. Suddenly, a sofa opened its mouth. Then, to my surprise, the horse and I were eaten by the sofa. Unfortunately, I was very scared because it was very dark. Finally, my dream ended."

"In the dream I was a bird. I was sitting on the branch. Suddenly, I sang a song. Then, to my surprise, I hit my grandmother because she was trash. Unfortunately, I became trash. Finally, I got up."

"In the dream I was eating the school. Suddenly the school changes into my friend. Then, to my surprise, he's a woman. Unfortunately, she's a man. Finally he's a vacuum cleaner."

"In the dream I was flying. Suddenly, I was a bird. Then, to my surprise, I was a chicken. Unfortunately, Teacher Paul ate me. Finally, I'm dung."

"In the dream I was a dog, I was living at my house. Suddenly, a robber comes to my house. Then, to my surprise, I bite the robber. Unfortunately, the robber is playing with me. Finally, the robber sleeps with me."

"In the dream my father was in the tea pot. He eats a horse in the tea pot. The horse becomes an airplane and the dog eats a spider. The spider is me. Suddenly, I love the dog. Then, to my surprise, I woke up in the deam but I was still dreaming. Unfortunately I was falling to my death. Finally, I woke up for real."

"In the dream I was a bird. I was flying near an airplane. After I passed through a necklace, I changed into a magic carpet. My grandmother was sitting on me. I fell from the carpet and I died. Then, to my surprise, I came to life again as a dog. I ate flowers. Unfortunately, there was a bee in the flower. The bee stung my stomach and I became very sick. Finally, I died and became a beehive on a tree."


Yes, I drank beer by myself in my house tonight, is that a sign of alcoholism? Or insanity? Sometimes life throws you curveballs and you need to take comfort in the bottle.